Experimenting on Children

It's nearly time to see how my experiment has worked.

Theory: My theory is that if you teach kids thinking skills and confidence in themselves, they'll be less subject to the influence of their peers.

Apparatus: To conduct this experiment, I generated three children and spent around a decade developing their confidence.

Goals: To make the children accustomed to coming up with and having confidence in their own ideas, to realizing that the things other people say can be flawed, and to give them a chance to solve problems on their own and with the help of others.

Long range goal: Hopefully (someday... maybe) they'll also realize that their own ideas and thinking can also be flawed and will apply the questioning skills they've developed to their own ideas.

Steps:
Ask the child a lot of questions,especially of the "how does this work" variety. Like "Why doesn't that balloon fall?" Listen to the answers and use them in later conversations. Show the child his or her thoughts matter by talking about the things that have been said.

Ask "Are you sure?" when the child explains something, whether the explanation is right or wrong, so that "Are you sure?" doesn't become a code for "I think you're wrong." If he or she asks "Is that right?" answer with "I think so" rather than "yes," indicating that truth is subjective. Do not pose as the expert.

Answer questions with "What do you think?" And when forced to answer a question, phrase it as "I think that …" so the child realizes that what is said is opinion. This will train the child to think of the world as something we're all trying to work together to understand rather than a solved problem that can be explained by the correct expert.

Say age-appropriate absurd things, like "Wow, you hit that balloon really hard… let me hold it in front of my face this time" to "Man, it's late! Everyone brush your teeth in the car so you can get right into bed as soon as we get home" to "Oh, this is the tag I need to get you back from the child care room. Why don’t you hold onto it?" Make the child realize that any statement could be flawed at some level.

Encourage questions, don't just allow them. If the child can question a parent or authority figure, he or she will have the strength to question peers. All authority should be subject to questioning. It's just a question. (As an added benefit, the one being questioned is made to think, too. "Does it really matter if dessert comes first?" or "Does it really matter if the shoes match?" Many cultural norms are habitual rather than necessary.)

Try not to answer requests with "no," but with words that explain the situation, leaving it open for the child to solve it. "I can't play with you right now because I have to wash the dishes and collect the trash" or "The problem with you playing outside is that you've left toys on the floor." Again, the child is taught that life is a problem we can work together to solve.

Still awaiting results...

Notes
With F in middle school now, he'll soon be in the hands of his peers and I've tried to armor him against rough treatment that adolescents give each other. The data is about to start coming in....