Be a grammarbuilder

Dude, I'm never gonna be a grammar snob. I'm all about experimental grammatics. Try out new ideas, I say. Do the extreme grammar thing. I mean, without some kinda deconstruction and experimentation, we're gonna end up with a dead and rotting language… I get that. I'm never gonna go all Samuel Johnson on you. (Note: Dr. Johnson is the guy to blame for the idea that English should be a stable museum piece of a language. Before he stapled down the rules, spelling was more like a game everyone could play.) But but but you gotta know what it is that you're doing or you'll end up misunderstood. Just like if you go bench 200 lbs without working up to it -- you'll strain a tendon, or even get your rib cage squashed -- so it is with grammar. You gotta build up to the tough stuff. Work out; be strong.

The internet totally rules as a place to get your grammar on: Facebook, blogs, mySpace, all of that. Fly your new punctuation and a gazillion people might go gliding along behind you. You can get instant feedback from the neighbors, from Neverland, and from anywhere in between. To make this the grammar-Eden it could be, we need people to have the right attitudes: people understanding how much words matter. And what's the only way to change attitudes, you ask. Viral campaigns, I shout back. Toss these phrases at your retinas.

Be grammar strong with tight sentences, bold punctuation, and clean spelling. Be understood.

Check out my tight sentence structure. I'm a grammarbuilder.

My punctuation is totally ripped. I'm a grammarbuilder.

Be kind to others: keep your flabby grammar hidden.

Keep your grammar taut, even on Facebook. Grammar builders.

Without my daily workout, I'd be a grammar-wuss.

Get a load of these grammar-guns.

People, we have to spatter the Internet with sayings like these and get grammar cool again. Or hot. Whatever means "totally rockin'" in your lingo. Go forth and grammar-ply.

(Wow, in my teen years I'd've never guessed that I'd be slopping out a foundation for an English-wide grammar movement, but here I am today doing just that.)